Women's Guide: Why time alone is best for both

Mars and Venus in love

By: John Gray, Ph.D.

"I am less interested in what other's relationships are like. I want to know more about yours."

- Mandi, Ontario

Men need their private time alone, but this does not mean that he does not love his partner. Dr. John Gray describes when men need their time alone and refers to their cave. In Mars and Venus in love chapter three, Dr. Gray talks about the Martian cave.  

Dr. John Gray explains that a cave does not mean the man loves his partner less. It means he needs his time alone, so that he can later be fully with her. When a woman does not want to talk to each other that mean that they are in a large fight. Women need to understand that it is not their fault. Tim goes into his cave each weekday, yet he is ready to talk only on Saturdays. I use to figure that because he was in his own cave that he was trying to get rid of me. It frustrated me, especially since there were times when I was busy all day on Saturday. I would often feel left out on the weekdays and resent him on the weekends.

According to Dr. John Gary, women also need their space away from the guy too. Men often have told me that they love it when their partner is not telling him why she is busy; she is just hard to get a hold of. Women need to allow themselves to get busy by doing their own activities and what makes them happy. On Saturday, I was busy cleaning my room and eating lunch. My msn was opened but I was not there. I did not really explain myself when I came back. Tim was wondering where I was when I had gotten back. He then tended to flirt with me.

Women and men need their time away from each other. It makes the other curious and desiring to pay more attention for the next time.


Thank you Mandi for writing in. Everyone is encouraged to write into eth-lizzie@hotmail.com so their questions can be answered.

References:
Gray, John. "Men and Their Caves." In Mars and Venus in love, 131-51. Harper Collins, 1996.