Guy's Guide: Compassion

Compassion

“I believe it is most important to have compassion, communication, and commitment in a relationship. While I am very committed to my girlfriend, we tend to lack at the other two. Is there any advice you would give us?”

-          Brandon, USA

Compassion is the ability and desire to understand what the other and attempt to obtain that for the other person. Compassion therefore requires that the couple understands what both sides want.

A long time ago, it was very easy to understand what women and men were expected to do. According to Dr. John Gray, things went from simple to complex after a couple of generations. Men were supposed to be the hunters. Women were supposed to be into taking care of the home and the children. There is the idea that some women still do this by being the stay-at-home wives, but today this limits their social gatherings. My eldest sister wants this to be her future. She wants her partner to provide for her and stay with her children.

Now, women can obtain their own careers and desire more. The men want to get their women to compliment their work and acknowledge what they have done is appropriate. Women continue to take care of the house and the children as well as being the second income source. Women are in a constant battle with their partners because they find that they are not doing enough. My close personal friend, Nat, goes to school full time, has a full-time job and cleans the house; she is exhausted by the time the day is done so desiring to sleep rather than stay up and compliment her husband. Her husband works full-time and is done schooling but does a chore once and a while.

So, how can a guy suit the fulfilment of providing his partner with their needs and hopes? Start out by remembering to do small things around the house, this way it proves that you are willing to work as equally with your partner in the family. Second if you want to be complimented then that means your partner does too. So, why not write a note to your lover and soon following your partner will write one for you. Just because the honey-moon phrase is over, does not mean the romance needs to be over as well.    

Thanks Brandon for writing in. Do not miss next week where I will be writing to solve your communication issue. Everyone else remember if you have any questions to please send them to eth-lizzie@hotmail.com.

References:

Gray, John. Mars and Venus Together Forever, 131-51. Harper Collins, 1996.
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