Do you know that
‘nice guy’ and ‘player’ debate? Where it seems like a girl likes only one of
those types and one is always left being ‘the friend’. I have a friend who
seems to be the sweetest guy but came off as a little too sweet or friendly to
my cousin. He attempted to woo her but his very attempts would seem burn to a
crisp until she went after a ‘player’.
There is a way
to give a girl both types at the same time. Many guys seem to be nice in a
chivalrous type of way and then wonder after they went to the extremes why
chivalry is dead. But, chivalry like most things is not dead but changed over a
period of time with the society we presently live in. This article will explain
how each of the six general rules of chivalry can still be very much applied to
dating currently.
Rule One: The
lover looks on the beloved as one who is higher and can be approached only with
suppressed awe and wonder.
In
what is called the ‘honeymoon’ phrase of a relationship or being to date.
Everything is new and fresh. It is like sucking up the time between you two and
truly enjoying it. This is the time that you are truly getting to rebuild or
build your relationship.
While
meeting a person for the first time: give a question and provide a compliment;
most important give a smile. Upon meeting an ex of mine, he had used this
approach which made me want to be around him. He had known that I was searching
for something that I was missing; he had provided different questions to lead
into a conversation of what I was missing. Shortly after I warmed up to him, he
provided me with a compliment about my appearance and how he did not think that
he could stand to be around someone as good looking as I am. This is a great
type of compliment to see if the girl wants to be around you as it leaves an
opening for them to walk away.
Honeymoon
can last for approximate a year while getting to know someone, after marriage
or after another changing dynamic in a relationship. After fresh perspective
later in the relationship, it is the perfect time to go on a date and
communicate, alone without anyone brothering you. Yes, that includes kids. For
another example, I am constantly wondering where my niece and nephew are since
I live with them but my current finance had asked me to go on another date with
him after we got engaged.
Second rule: The
lover’s body is deeply disturbed with a malady like sicknesses.
If
it is too confusing to have sex when deciding on whether or not you are in a
relationship, what should you do? I would recommend kissing but not doing
anything below the belt. The girl that you are dating should not want to jump
into bed with anyone that she does not know if there is a future with.
Give
her the hot French kiss and she knows whether or not the sex is great, she
would be willing to stay. My friend,
Ashley, has been dating a guy who gives amazing French kisses and snuggles
greatly in bed. However, their sexual life can be improved stated by him.
Third rule: The
lover becomes his beloved’s servant. He proves his loyalty and patience by
seeking to obtain her nearly unobtainable affections.
This is where most men will get have the
issues between being the ‘player’ and the ‘nice guy’. Remember, although it is
important to not force the romance – life is not a drama where a guy absolutely
needs to throw down a jacket and show that he loves her that way.
But,
there are ways to for the ‘nice guy’ to still show chivalry regardless of doing
over the top romantic things. The guy should buy the first date and set the mood.
A nice place for a date may include: dinner and a movie, dinner and dancing,
fair, go-carting, etc. These places you can have fun, get to know each other,
and the girl does not feel tested. My friend Sam had taken his now girlfriend
to a dinner where although they were not the best dancers they could show each
other a little bit of moves. Sam paid for everything including to dedicate a song
to ask her to be his girl rather than his friend.
Forth rule: The
lover always dwells inwardly on the beloved.
It
is often said that guys do not want girls to be clinging; but, the same goes
for most girls. However, both girls feel the same way to guys that they are in
a relationship in. There requires being a finding of who people are in and out
of the relationship. There requires being a balance between the two; since,
without the balance the relationship will crumble. The person who does not have
a balance between habits and their girlfriend creates the girl requiring some
space.
Nick,
my friend, had spent all his time with his girlfriend and she would often make herself
busier. She had gotten feeling that there was too much time spent with him. When
your girlfriend attempts to make herself have more activities and does not care
how this affects your relationship or/and not willing to pick up the phone,
means that you need more space with her. This is common in people who are often
introverts. My friend has a developed an agreement that she would give her
boyfriend a day out of the week so that she could be balancing everything.
Nick
had another girlfriend, who had been a center of attention; he would give her
very limited time. It resulted in her
complaining about him not spending enough time with her. When your girlfriend is
willing to give you more time to see each other or complaining; she desires
more time from you. This occurs more when you’re dealing with someone who is an
center of attention seeker. My fiancée and I have to spend approximately a
couple of hours together since I desire a lot of attention. In the same day, I
am able to balance in time with my friends/clients, time for work, and time for
myself.
Fifth rule: Jealousy
disturbs love; a true love is always loyal.
This
is a ‘nice guy’ has the advantage over the ‘player’. The player often happens
to be giving a lot of jealousy over his woman; this is thought to be mistrust
after doing something wrong. However, the ‘nice guy’s often also gets jealous;
but they tend to know how to make it secret. There are certain things that
allow for a certain amount for jealous, such as: hitting on the ex, flirting with
another guy. However, in a relationship you have to be willing to listen.
Faith, my friend, often still talks to her first boyfriend who she was engaged
to and now her boyfriend constantly gets jealous. But, he approaches the
situation perfectly by knowing that if she wanted her ex she would have been
with him still, thereby leaving the room or talking after their conversation.
Sixth rule: Such
a pursuit empowers the lover’s prowess, courage, and obedience. He may even be
moved to greater piety and loyalty to his kingdom.
Every
good relationship has support inside of it. The relationship needs support and positivity
in it to improve both partners equally. Even though the partners might have
slight variations of what is the appropriate way to resolve a conflict outside
of their relationship; they must work as a team to complete a solid foundation.
For an example, my finance has supports me to get a law degree on the side of
running a business. He has no idea how to run a business successfully and opposed
people who want to be a prosecutor; but he knows how it makes me feel more like
I am giving back to society.
